i MON da farm, part one

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I realised that I’m on a farm very shortly after my arrival when I got mistaken by the cuteness of a little pony whose eyes were literally begging me for a stroke. Yep, I got bitten and still have a big blue bruise that reminds me of this great welcome. I experienced another nice way to say „hello“ a few minutes later when I finally got to lie down on a very unfriendly frog bigger than the palm of my hand casually chilling in my „bed“. Obviously, she took it very personally and decided to tell about it all the frogs and lizards around who, for the rest of my stay, terrorised not only my bungallow but also my stinky shoes because apparently that’s the coolest place to squat 🙂

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Apart from that, everything seemed to be fucking perfect though. I joined a group of seven people from all over the world and they were amazing. On my first night, we all went camping on top of a mountain in the jungle just to watch the full moon and sunrise after that. We built a DIY bamboo tent, made a campfire, shared our travel stories and for the first time in years, I felt like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. The atmosphere was even so cheesy-perfect that I decided to quit smoking (which lasted exactly 4 days – the time I needed to count how cheap cigarettes in Thailand are).

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When I got used to being covered in all-kind-of-animals shit all the time, the work on the farm became really easy and fun. Especially showering the sheep was completely epic. I’d never say I’d have to catch about twenty sheep with obviously no hygienic tendency one by one, anchor them between my legs, shower them, brush out everything they’ve been rolling in for the last three days while trying not to scream everytime they stood on my bare feet and not to drink the water that was dirtier than the coffee I haven’t had for over two weeks 🙂 But believe me or not, this became my favourite activity in the 40-degrees heat because apart from two swimming pool visits (which was probably filled up just because of us, volunteers, in the middle of a building site because „Arnon has a friend there“), I had absolutely no chance to cool down my completely sunburnt body.

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Unfortunately, I reached the end of my rope again when I agreed (I mean, I only live once, right?) to try a lesson of Thai box on a day when my body was brighter red than a lipstick of an average 12yo Essex girl. I was actually really excited about it until I saw the little 15 years old girl Nang kicking the shit out of about five years older guy with a sixpack nicer than the one I was looking forward to seeing in my fridge after every shift back in England. I was really trying to keep up during the first hour, the second one was much tougher though and I was constantly blaming myself for being such an idiot that says yes to every stupid thing that comes along. And basically, I spent the third one just embarassingly chilling in the corner of a room where air moves about as quickly as I on my way to the dentist, trying to figure out what the secret is behind not passing out but jumping without a break like Chuck Norris on extasy.

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I gave it a go but nope, thanks. I’ll rather rely on my pepper spray. I also discovered I should stick to chefing instead of getting new experience in a building field. Yep, I helped to build the first wall in my life. Dunno what I was thinking about while doing so, maybe I just wanted the poor pigs to have more space but the result is that I managed to built a wall as straight as me. Arnon must have thought I was capable of anything when I successfully built a chicken nursery the day before 🙂

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 I’d never imagined I would actually write about a chicken on my blog unless I’ve eaten a very tasty one but Chip was really special. Yeah, this little chicken was only a few days old but he was smart enough to figure out that being best friend with little 7 years old boy Pao was the way to go. Chip followed him everywhere, they shared a bed together, they ate together, they played together, it was an amazing relationship between a human being and a chicken. This really weird thought of becoming a vegetarian even crossed my mind for a second, luckily Arnon’s mum saved me by cooking another of her amazing Thai (non-vegetarian) meals 🙂

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