„Why do you even want to travel?“ „What about your family, friends, work?“ „Do you not want to settle down?“ „What about money?“ „When are you coming back?“ „Isn’t it dangerous, travelling on your own?“
I get asked these question so often that if I wanted to explain everything honestly to everybody who asks me, I wouldn’t actually have time to travel. The answer for all those questions is somewhere deep in my head and only those who know me really well understand me.
I’ve always felt a bit different to everyone else around me. When I was a kid, my mum used to say that they must’ve accidentally swapped me with someone else’s kid in the hospital when I was born because sometimes it was unbelievable how much I didn’t fit into my family’s portrait 🙂 Now I know she was only joking because I certainly have the same cute smile as her 🙂
I’ve always been very adventurous, I prefered playing football and climbing trees to playing with dolls or helping out my mum in the kitchen. I can’t even count how many times I came home with ripped trousers, muddy shoes, bleeding knees, bruised back or broken wrists even though I knew I was gonna get into trouble, get shouted at, cry like a baby in hope I was gonna be forgiven and eventually get slapped to „have a proper reason to cry“. Oooh, how I miss childhood 🙂
And this is still me, although a bit older. I want to travel because I don’t want to be a grown-up yet. I’ve worked full-time since I was 18, I know what it feels like and even though I don’t mind work as such, I just don’t want to be in a relationship with work. I’m a chef, I love my job a lot, I work with the best team ever but I feel like I don’t get to do the things I’ve always wanted to do. Even though every day is different and so much fun, it is the same fucking place every fucking day and I feel like I’m not going anywhere. I get paid, pay my bills, spend some money on stuff I don’t need, save some money for „the future“, go on nice holiday from time to time… But I don’t feel motivated. I have it all. It is fucking awesome, I enjoy every single bit of it, basically I have everything a „normal“ person needs and wants. I could find a girlfriend, get a house and that’d be it.
But naaaaah, I don’t want to settle down yet. I’ve already had one chance to do so, two years ago when I got married but the universe decided that I wasn’t meant to be tied to such a big commitment. I got a second chance to live my life and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
Like I said, I’m a chef. People eat all over the world. I think it’s the best industry to work in while travelling. I already mentioned that I’m going to travel with a very low budget. Although I don’t need a lot, it’ll get difficult at some point. And I can’t wait for that moment. Why? I will feel motivated to do something. I need to be constantly challenged to fully live my life. And that’s the difference between me and normal people. Most people would choose settling down with all the benefits that come with it such as house, kids, great career… I choose insecurity. I want to be constantly thinking whether I have enough money to stay in a hostel or if I have have to sleep under the bridge so I can get something to eat the next day.
Of course I need a bit of love in my life too. I know I have the best family ever even though I’m a little bit worried about them worrying about me so much 🙂 I also have the most awesome friends that will be here for me no matter what. I love my family and I love my friends. That feeling is all I need. If they love me enough too, it doesn’t matter if we’re thousands miles apart, even though an occasional hug would be very appreciated 🙂
And that’s the thing. I don’t even have an idea how long I’ll be away for. I might have the best time of my life or it could be the most epic fail ever. But I’m not scared. Especially not of travelling solo. I’ve been so low so many times and I’ve always managed 🙂 Sure, the world is a dangerous place but for me it doesn’t matter if the danger awaits for me down the road from my house or seven time zones away. Shit happens everywhere. If I’m meant to be put in danger, bring it on.
Just don’t tell me how to live my life. Even though you know better than me, I don’t give a shit. Let me be that little kid again, please. I want to learn new things, I want to explore, I want to get hurt, I want to cry, I want to get lost and scared, I want to miss all the people I care about, I want to have nothing yet everything I need. Because in the end of the day, I won’t be hugging a diploma that I never got or a million pounds worth mansion that I don’t want or all the useless crap I bought. No, I want to be dying with a smile on my face, thinking about all the great moments and say: „Fuck yeah, that was an awesome ride yo!“