A couple of days back I had a little freak out. Why? Well, I read a blog about the things no one tells you about backpacking. I don’t really care if I shit my pants from time to time or that I won’t be able to take a shower every single day (apart from the day I’m all covered in shit) but what scared me the most was „You will fall in love all the bloody time“. Yeah, the idea of that scares the shit out of me. I think I was born to be single and as much as I love being around girls, I can’t imagine being in a relationship with one.
A few years ago, my life was planned for years ahead. I was in a relationship with a girl who I considered to be the love of my life. We’d been together for 4 years when we decided to get married. When I think about it now, I’m all like „What the hell was I thinking?“ but at that time it just felt bloody right so I would never even think about regreting that decision. But then a lot of stuff happened and I became single. It was a fucking hard time for me and I don’t know where I’d have been now if I didn’t have my friends around.
Since then I was hitting gay bars in London almost every single week, spending money on pretty girls‘ drinks so they’d eventually invite me to their places where we’d have some fun times and I could secretly disappear before they wake up and never hear from them again.
But of course it couldn’t go like that forever. So shit happened and I fell in love. There is no chance it can work out between us two so here I am. Yeah, one of the reasons I’m doing all this is that I’m escaping. I don’t want any of that love bullshit in me and I just can’t help it. Even though that girl is absolutely fucking amazing, I don’t want to lose my freedom and I feel like these love feelings I have are sort of tying me up and it happens to be very difficult for me to be just me.
So can I please ask all of you, pretty girls to avoid me if you meet me somewhere on the road? Don‘t smile at me, don‘t flirt with me, don‘t buy me a drink, don’t have a great sense of humour, don‘t be great in bed and don‘t turn around when you’ve walked past me because I will be probably checking out your arse and you know, stuff could happen and I don’t want to come back home more fucked up in my head that I already am 🙂